Fall quarter was difficult. I accomplished a lot as an experienced member of an organization, but I lost perspective so often. Even though I did things well and helped people feel important for the most part in those projects, I've realized I thrive off of quality time, one-on-one conversations that are productive in nature. Hanging out in groups, having meetings, and doing projects are great, but those things don't produce lasting meaning to me. I didn't have/make time for any girls this quarter. Stressed about money, I've tried to work as much as I can during the day and I have meetings 3 out of 5 nights each week, which eliminates significant possibilities for meeting up with people for an hour to be spiritual buddies or for me to be a new mentor (since my girl got married and moved away!).
I feel disconnected from myself and who I want to be, even though for the first time in about a year and in my life, I have a sense of stability with my personality and identity. Christmas break will be a time to evaluate my priorities and where my energy will be applied this quarter and for the rest of the year.
I need to do things for myself and trust that God will place everything as they are supposed to be. I want to make a lasting impact in the lives of those around me. I want to be fulfilled and satisfied with my decisions. I need to finally apply all of the foundational things I've established about who I want to be. It's time to create myself and follow through.
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