Don't make excuses for yourself or for your actions. Accept the responsibilities in front of you. Take initiative in your endeavors. Embrace the suffering and never give up. Realize that every breath is a second chance and that life is a gift. Life and love are too precious to get caught up in things that do not matter.

Creating Myself

Fall quarter was difficult. I accomplished a lot as an experienced member of an organization, but I lost perspective so often. Even though I did things well and helped people feel important for the most part in those projects, I've realized I thrive off of quality time, one-on-one conversations that are productive in nature. Hanging out in groups, having meetings, and doing projects are great, but those things don't produce lasting meaning to me. I didn't have/make time for any girls this quarter. Stressed about money, I've tried to work as much as I can during the day and I have meetings 3 out of 5 nights each week, which eliminates significant possibilities for meeting up with people for an hour to be spiritual buddies or for me to be a new mentor (since my girl got married and moved away!).

I feel disconnected from myself and who I want to be, even though for the first time in about a year and in my life, I have a sense of stability with my personality and identity. Christmas break will be a time to evaluate my priorities and where my energy will be applied this quarter and for the rest of the year.

I need to do things for myself and trust that God will place everything as they are supposed to be. I want to make a lasting impact in the lives of those around me. I want to be fulfilled and satisfied with my decisions. I need to finally apply all of the foundational things I've established about who I want to be. It's time to create myself and follow through.

Romans 5:3-5

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

I've come to accept that life is full of hard things. I tend to think that a lot of things in my life have been harder than necessary, mostly out of my own doing. However, I understand the world from more aspects than a lot of people because of my suffering and learning style of feeling my way through things rather than being preventative in nature. I take personal risks that result in pain and pushing through things, but I like who I have become in those experiences. I believe that maintaining perseverance through things that are hard physically, emotionally, and spiritually truly does build character. Suffering helps you to gain perspective and shows you how to improve. And more importantly, in gaining perspective and strong character, we can more fully appreciate the unwaivering hope that is provided for us.

"Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself."

I have spent a significant amount of time in college trying to "find myself." I don't think that's the correct question to ask. Rather than "who am I?" (picture Zoolander), the correct question is "Who do I want to be?" It's up to you, not the world, to decide how you want to live your life. As Switchfoot so wisely asks, "This is your life, are you who you want to be?" I constantly evaluate and reevaluate that question in hopes of figuring out how to be the best at experiencing my true self.

Don't be afraid to ask yourself that question. You will not be able to experience life in the fullest if you don't understand who you are.

-Bri