Passion for New Opportunities

God has presented people to the forefront of my life who have shown me what it means to have passion, leading me to find out what my passions are. Growing up helps us find conviction in things, through experiences and learning things that just make sense. My friends in student groups, my roommates, and my professors have demonstrated their driving forces and I've witnessed how they and the people around them experience the fruits of that.

As graduation approaches pretty rapidly, I'm torn between having security with a job and being content if I don't have that right away. I'm proud of who I have become over the past few years and feel like I have a ton to offer and am qualified for a lot. But I have to accept the reality that even though I see that and the people around me do, companies and businesses might not right away.

Contentment and humility are great struggles for me right now. In the midst of loving people, contributing and participating in my social arenas, and thinking about my future, I'm struggling to maintain a balanced and humble perspective.

However, while I struggle I am learning what makes me tick. Loving and helping people reaches me in ways that nothing else does. EdgeCorps (Navs staff) is one of my many possible paths, but even if I do get a full-time job I want to make people an important part of my life. I thrive off of the presence of others. Where I work needs to feed that or I won't find fulfillment or contentment with my work.

Looking Forward

Being back home in the states has been a wonderful experience. My reverse culture shock wasn't as much bad as good, helping me realize how much I take for granted living in the United States. Several people have asked me if I would ever live in Europe and I'm not sure I would. Traveling and staying for more than a few days is great for me because I love being settled. While Spain felt very natural for me (meaning I never felt like a tourist there), I still feel more at home and settled in the states. Not just because people I know and love are around, but it really is the land of opportunity. It's different, because obviously Europe provides plenty of extraordinary adventures. But in the US, I truly feel equipped and acknowledged enough to follow my dreams and achieve whatever I want in life. It's obviously not in a tangible way for me like it is for so many people who move here, but I can see how blessed I am to have the freedoms and future that I do.

I miss speaking Spanish on a regular basis and I've tried to keep up my listening practice by watching BBC Mundo shorts and following them on Twitter. Emily McF, who I mentor, wants to keep going with Spanish and eventually study abroad, so we'll have parts of our meetings in Spanish to practice together. I've never felt called to missions, but now that I've seen and learned about other cultures more, I want to be a part of them in more of a service-oriented manner. After I graduate, I'll definitely start looking into maybe doing a short-term thing somewhere.

The friends that I have in Cincinnati are so wonderful. I've loved jumping back in, getting huge hugs from people the first time they saw me again, who had genuine excitement while asking about my trip and experiences. I'm blessed to have roommates who have all traveled abroad (yeah, all 5 of them!) and know the kinds of questions to ask and the types of feelings I had then and now.

My sister asked me if I hate Americans now in the sense of living elsewhere, but I really just dislike ignorant Americans. It's sometimes heartbreaking to see people so tunnel-visioned in their own world that they aren't a part of other cultures or types of people. Traveling abroad isn't necessary to have an interest or even and idea of what's going on in the world. There are so many people on this planet. I've gained so much more perspective and I hope that it manifests in a greater and more apparent sense of humility.

I have a ton of opportunities in the next few months as I prepare to graduate and search for a job. I'm more excited and content than nervous and anxious. I know I will be taken care of. We have an awesome God.